The verdict is in...

The verdict is in...I'll be returning back to Malaysia for good sooner than we planned. After a lengthy discussion, hubby and I had come to the conclusion that it would be better for us to continue the children's education in Malaysia as we would be able to save more and financially boost our little nest egg. Going back would also be a good move in preserving our children's religion, ethnicity, culture and heritage.
Don't get me wrong, I love living in Abu Dhabi. The abundance of wealth, the scenery, the diversity of culture is intoxicating but like the saying goes, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Despite the high levels of crime and the grime and grittiness in my country, I'll still favor it best over any other country simply because it was where I was born. It's where I grew up and it had made me become who I am today. I love Malaysia and my loyalty will always and forever be for Malaysia.
The downside of the decision though is the fact that the children and I will be apart from dear hubby. He will remain here in Abu Dhabi while we are in Malaysia. Hubby says he can commute at least once a month and perhaps I could try visiting him as often as possible while leaving the two older children with my parents hence avoiding any disruption in their education. They will only be brought over to Abu Dhabi during the school holidays. I doubt they'll like that very much as they have grown to love Abu Dhabi more than Malaysia (which is more reasons to ship them back) .
However, we are torn between the choices of education that we plan to provide our children. The kids are currently following the British curriculum (which I favor very much). We can't decide whether to let them continue by enrolling them in an International School or start them with the Malaysian curriculum (which is forever changing much to my dislike) by enrolling them in a private institution. The advantage of educating them using the Malaysian curriculum would allow them more opportunity for entrance into local universities and local scholarships. The disadvantage, my kids aren't well versed in Bahasa Malaysia which would mean they'd do miserably for the entrance exams into a private school and would really have to struggle in their lessons as their comprehension of the language is really poor. Malaysian curriculum is also a little too academic and restricted for my taste and I don't want the children to feel overwhelmed and stifled by it. Worst of all, it may make them dislike learning. Currently, my children loves learning. They look forward to school and aren't to keen on school holidays.
On the other hand, the distance from my home to various International Schools is quite far and I don't see the sense in purchasing a house near a school when we have a perfectly good house that we are halfway through paying for. The reason for our move is to save money, so buying another house would defeat the purpose. Beside, space in International schools are very limited and I'm afraid that these schools aren't able to accommodate my children.
Aah...the things to think...I'm already having a migraine. Well, at least I have a few more years to thinks about those things so for the time being, I'll just enjoy my time in Abu Dhabi.

A new diet that works!

Eid has come and gone and what I thought would be a miserable occassion proved to be otherwise. Many friends and neighbours had dropped by to help us celebrate and despite missing my family, I felt that I had gained a new family here in my home away from home. All that hard work that I had put into this special ocassion really did pay off...well sort of..:P
A couple of days after the eid celebration, my body had retaliated and I fell very, very ill. I guess cooking a feast while doing housework and juggling 3 small children under the age of 7 had finally taken its toll. Worst of all, it was just my luck that it had to happen when hubby was away.
When our children fall ill, we mothers sometimes wish we would rather take the child's place and be sick instead of our children. Well, after my little episode, I will never, ever have that wish again. Mothers aren't designed to fall sick. If we are sick, we can't function. When we can't function...well, there goes the entire household.
I was too sick to care for the kids. I was feverish and shivering all over and being the drama queen that I am, I swear I thought I was going to die. Every time I closed my eyes and curled underneath the duvet, I could hear various doa being recited in my mind. My children had to scavage for their own food, emptying out the pantry and sinking their teeth into anything that looks edible. It took every single iota of my energy to whip them up a meal. I couldn't even monitor their bathing time and had no clue if they had even taken their baths at all. That was how ill I was. I wanted to ask for help but the very thought of picking up my handphone felt like a goliath task. Luckily (if you can call it lucky) the baby had caught the same bug so all she wanted was to sleep and suckle.
I was ill for four days. Four days of wasting away on my bed. Four days of child neglect. Four days without an appetite. Hubby camehome that night, took charge and brought me to the doctor the very next morning. The doctor confirmed my illness, put me on antibiotics and I was up and running a couple of days afterwards.
Overall, it was a horrible experience but on the bright side, I had discovered that I had lost some weight. Whoopee! I had finally found a diet that works even better than Atkins, its called Streptococcal Pharyngitis and it really does work. Maybe falling sick isn't so bad after all. Although it involves serious child neglect, I actually wouldn't mind having it again...as long as I lose weight in the process. I'm such a horrible mom. lol :P

Eid Mubarak '09

How time flies. It's been 3 month since my last post and not only have I not lost any weight, I think I've acquired a few more pounds (I'm so delusional...more like several kilos actually lol) to my ever expanding torso. Well, I'm not really complaining. I have faith in myself, I know I'll shed off the weight when I'm truly ready and determined to do so. I've done it a few times in the past so why should this be any different right? Nothing like being truly optimistic.

So I went back to KL for the summer and you know the saying be careful what you wish for? Well, what I envisioned of an exciting summer didn't quite materialize. Sure, it was superb to get back in touch with my family and friends but the kids were sick most of the time due to the terrible weather and flu pandemic that was hitting the country. The people that mattered to me back home were also quite busy carrying on with their lives and between that and caring for my sick children, I wasn't quite able to hang out and have fun. I was also missing my dear, dear hubby terribly.

So now I'm back in Abu Dhabi and its the fasting month. I came here exactly a year ago during ramadhan '08 and now here I am again in Abu Dhabi for ramadhan '09. Eid is just a day away and this will be my second year in the row celebrating Eid al-Fitr without my family. Last year wasn't so bad as I was occupied with settling myself and the kids here but this year, it's a bit harder. I miss my mom. I miss my sister. I miss my whole clan. What I wouldn't give to be able to be there with them.

I'm on the floor of my kitchen right now cooking 4kg of beef rendang for the big celebration. I had to get a head start as there is no way could I single handedly prepare all the dishes the night before the big celebration. I've invited some friends and neighbours over for the festivities. I want this eid to be special and I'm doing it all for the sake of my children. Eid is about family and relationship, and I want them to experience the magic of Eid. I just hope I'm doing it right. :)

Happy Eid Mubarak all. Lets forgive, forget and be merry! Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. :D

My Weight Loss Journey

I had celebrated my 32nd birthday. Took care of the laundry the whole day, went out for dinner and later did my grocery shopping. How wild was that? I'm such a party animal even I amaze myself *roll eyes*.

I had decided that it is time to start getting rid of the kilos on my birthday. First day in, had a platter of buffalo wings and indulged myself in this simply amazing chocolate brownies. It had chocolate fudge oozing out of it. Heaven to my taste buds, hell to my thighs. Okay, not a good start but to my defense, it was my birthday!

Second day, made a pot of delicious ayam masak lemak cili api with rice. Couldn't resist a second helping for both lunch and dinner. Treated myself to some chocolates afterwards. Gosh, don't I have any will power whatsoever? I put myself to shame...

So now it's my third day. so far I've only had a piece of wholemeal bread (with a spoonful of nutella but that doesn't count since it balances out the wholemeal! And it was just one measly piece of bread!) and a glass of low fat milk. I'm doing the whole count my calories intake thing. Thinking of exercising as well but heck, its still early and I've got the rest of the day to do it. (Must remind myself to join Procrastinators Ananimous). So far so good...will see how thing goes. I'm making chilli crab and steamed mussels for lunch (please, please god. Provide me the will power to resist) Must resist. Must resist. Must resist. Aaaargh! The temptation!

Thinking about lunch has caused me to start salivating for no apparent reason. Noooooo! It's mind over matter. I think I'll head to bed now, gotta sleep it off. Bye!

KL, here I come...

The summer holidays is approaching and boy am I looking forward to it! We'll be returning to Kuala Lumpur for 2 whole months and I've already planned out my day to day itinerary in my head. However, the fact that I'll be without a maid when I return this time around is a bit daunting. My little sister has hijacked my trustworthy maid off my hands and I don't know how I'll cope with 3 kids back home. Here it is easier as I am not mobile. But in KL, its a whole different ball park.

I've decided to enroll Mika in a play school there to prepare him for school come September. Unlike Sarah, Mika has never gone to school before this (Kinder Music doesn't count because I was present for his lessons) and I worry how he'll cope. He is still such a little baby and the school he will be going to is a very big school. I worry that he will be overwhelmed.

I don't want Sarah to be stuck in front of the TV the whole day either which is why hubby and I have decided to enroll her again in a few enrichment classes. So when I'm in KL, on top of caring for the 3 kids on my own, I'll need to do the whole soccer mom bit as well. I really can't imagine how I'll cope especially with little Hana in tow. But then I keep telling myself, if I aspire to become a super mom, then I'll have to at least try and put myself for the test and juggle it all. This will really put my capabilities to the test. What the heck, I'm up for the challenge! My life has been pretty mundane all this while, so what's a little chaos right? Hehe..:P

One of the challenge is deciding on a school for Mika. I've got my eyes on the Early Learning Program at Kizsports but distance may be a problem. I refuse to get up 3 hours earlier just to get the kids ready to drive them all the way there only to find my self rushing back to pick him up a little over an hour later. I'm looking at the kindies within the neighbourhood but I worry about what the school is like as I want something more similar to the school that Mika will be attending in September in order to ensure a more smoother transition for him. I seriously need to put more thought into this.

On top of her maths class, Sarah has requested for me to find her a speech and drama class. I found one in TTDI, but they haven't replied to my inquiry so I'm yet to decide. Kizsports offers the program so perhaps I could enroll her there and if Mika is there, then it'll be better for me. I could also enroll Hana in their babysigns program. Gosh if all the 3 kids are there, I'll end up hanging out at One Utama every single day. Don't get me wrong, I adore One U, but I'm just afraid I'll end up bankrupt! My will power is close to none. All those nice, clean, bright shops are pretty enticing. :P

So then I'm brought back to the issue of becoming maid-less. The timing of the classes would obviously differ, so while I'm in class with Hana for instance, I'll still need someone to keep an eye on the other two. Aaargh. I could take my ex-maid (now my sister's maid) but that would mean adding another screaming infant on top of my out of control brood. Uh-uh. That's a sure path on the route towards insanity and this wannabe super mom ain't so keen on going there.

Aaargh! Decisions..decisions. I really can't decide. I guess for now, I'll just settle for what I do best. Procrastinate and leave the decision making for tomorrow. :P

Supermom vs Kryptonite

If there is any time for me to start contemplating suicide, I'd say the time is now. I have three children generously contributing to my already messy house with their smelly puke and poo. Both Sarah and Mika had caught some sort of stomach bug which makes them purge and barf continuously. The small cough that baby Hana had has developed into a full scale one with loads of plegm and snot to accompany it. Since she can't spit out her phlegm and blow out her nose, she had chosen the barf out all the gross icky sticky stuff method.

I have done the laundry 3 times today, bath and changed all three children twice, cleaned up vomit from my floor and carpets, wash the powder room of poo and vomit, prepared lunch twice (since the kids puked out the first) and I did it all before noon! If that's not Super Mom, then I don't know what is! Oh, and I'm still in my smelly pajamas which is now covered in food, puke, spit & milk. I'd better lock the doors, I don't wanna risk scaring any visitors if any decided to pop by. (Dear God, please send any visitors away...I'm so not in the mood to entertain!)

The worst part of it all is that hubby is in Toronto and won't be back till Sunday! Hmph, the lucky bugger. Where is the equality? Waaaaaah! I want my mommy! I'd rather go slay some dragon or monster at this rate. They're much easier to handle than 3 sick children. I'm a wannabe super mom and I have found my kryptonite!

Walk beside me and be my friend.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."~ Albert Camus.

I've been wondering for awhile on the meaning of friendship and found this on Wikipedia.

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.

When we made the decision to move to Abu Dhabi, one of the things that was the hardest to leave behind was my wonderful, supportive and loyal girlfriends. We've built our friendship over the years and had gotten to know each other ever since we were only girls. We had gone through so much for so long and had shared most of our good times and bad times with each other. The only thing that had comforted me was the assurance that despite being hundreds of miles apart, our friendship will always remain strong and no matter what, nothing can and will change our friendship and love for each other.

Arriving in Abu Dhabi, I realized that I had to start over. I did not have the comfort of my girlfriends and family to fall back on and had to start from scratch. I discovered that meeting new people is easy but to build a strong bond with another proves harder. Here I did not have the advantage of time and personal experiences like I did back home.

But fate was kind to me and I did build close ties with a handful of people here. It's wonderful to have people you are able to connect, respect, trust, esteem and care for deeply and have those feelings reciprocated. These friends are my substitute for the friends and family that I had left behind.

But what is life without a few hiccups? The friendship that I had built with one of these people now leaves me in doubt. She is a wonderful person and while I enjoy her company, there are still some things that bothers me about her. She can be quite helpful, but her helpfulness seems insincere and leaves me feeling uneasy as if she expects her favours to always be returned. She is sometimes controlling, abrupt, patronizing and rude and at other times borders being mean. I've seen her making some inappropriate remarks to others and although I do respect her for being straight forward and frank, I do feel that her remarks to some is too much hitting below the belt and can't help but wonder why she couldn't be more subtle and gentler in her ways. She has also the tendency to become rather defensive and is one of the most pessimistic person that I had ever encountered. Friends are suppose to celebrate and embrace each others differences yet she on the other hand, treats everything as if it's a pissing match. Her competitiveness is simply irksome.

Yet I still feel the need to reach out and maintain what resembles a friendship with her. Perhaps it is because our children are friends or perhaps because there are just so few people here that I try to fight hard for whatever friendship I can get here. But sometimes enough is enough and this may be one friendship that is not worth fighting for. I've tried over and over again to give the benefit of the doubt but now it seems like a hopeless pursuit. I will cease being a good friend to her not because I don't desire it but because there is no sense of fighting when the effort only comes on my part alone. I care about her and because of that, I'm willing to let her go and just hope that she'll mend her ways and when she does and when she find herself in a position where she needs a friend, I'm always here with open arms to welcome a friend whom I can walk side by side with.