My Weight Loss Journey

I had celebrated my 32nd birthday. Took care of the laundry the whole day, went out for dinner and later did my grocery shopping. How wild was that? I'm such a party animal even I amaze myself *roll eyes*.

I had decided that it is time to start getting rid of the kilos on my birthday. First day in, had a platter of buffalo wings and indulged myself in this simply amazing chocolate brownies. It had chocolate fudge oozing out of it. Heaven to my taste buds, hell to my thighs. Okay, not a good start but to my defense, it was my birthday!

Second day, made a pot of delicious ayam masak lemak cili api with rice. Couldn't resist a second helping for both lunch and dinner. Treated myself to some chocolates afterwards. Gosh, don't I have any will power whatsoever? I put myself to shame...

So now it's my third day. so far I've only had a piece of wholemeal bread (with a spoonful of nutella but that doesn't count since it balances out the wholemeal! And it was just one measly piece of bread!) and a glass of low fat milk. I'm doing the whole count my calories intake thing. Thinking of exercising as well but heck, its still early and I've got the rest of the day to do it. (Must remind myself to join Procrastinators Ananimous). So far so good...will see how thing goes. I'm making chilli crab and steamed mussels for lunch (please, please god. Provide me the will power to resist) Must resist. Must resist. Must resist. Aaaargh! The temptation!

Thinking about lunch has caused me to start salivating for no apparent reason. Noooooo! It's mind over matter. I think I'll head to bed now, gotta sleep it off. Bye!

KL, here I come...

The summer holidays is approaching and boy am I looking forward to it! We'll be returning to Kuala Lumpur for 2 whole months and I've already planned out my day to day itinerary in my head. However, the fact that I'll be without a maid when I return this time around is a bit daunting. My little sister has hijacked my trustworthy maid off my hands and I don't know how I'll cope with 3 kids back home. Here it is easier as I am not mobile. But in KL, its a whole different ball park.

I've decided to enroll Mika in a play school there to prepare him for school come September. Unlike Sarah, Mika has never gone to school before this (Kinder Music doesn't count because I was present for his lessons) and I worry how he'll cope. He is still such a little baby and the school he will be going to is a very big school. I worry that he will be overwhelmed.

I don't want Sarah to be stuck in front of the TV the whole day either which is why hubby and I have decided to enroll her again in a few enrichment classes. So when I'm in KL, on top of caring for the 3 kids on my own, I'll need to do the whole soccer mom bit as well. I really can't imagine how I'll cope especially with little Hana in tow. But then I keep telling myself, if I aspire to become a super mom, then I'll have to at least try and put myself for the test and juggle it all. This will really put my capabilities to the test. What the heck, I'm up for the challenge! My life has been pretty mundane all this while, so what's a little chaos right? Hehe..:P

One of the challenge is deciding on a school for Mika. I've got my eyes on the Early Learning Program at Kizsports but distance may be a problem. I refuse to get up 3 hours earlier just to get the kids ready to drive them all the way there only to find my self rushing back to pick him up a little over an hour later. I'm looking at the kindies within the neighbourhood but I worry about what the school is like as I want something more similar to the school that Mika will be attending in September in order to ensure a more smoother transition for him. I seriously need to put more thought into this.

On top of her maths class, Sarah has requested for me to find her a speech and drama class. I found one in TTDI, but they haven't replied to my inquiry so I'm yet to decide. Kizsports offers the program so perhaps I could enroll her there and if Mika is there, then it'll be better for me. I could also enroll Hana in their babysigns program. Gosh if all the 3 kids are there, I'll end up hanging out at One Utama every single day. Don't get me wrong, I adore One U, but I'm just afraid I'll end up bankrupt! My will power is close to none. All those nice, clean, bright shops are pretty enticing. :P

So then I'm brought back to the issue of becoming maid-less. The timing of the classes would obviously differ, so while I'm in class with Hana for instance, I'll still need someone to keep an eye on the other two. Aaargh. I could take my ex-maid (now my sister's maid) but that would mean adding another screaming infant on top of my out of control brood. Uh-uh. That's a sure path on the route towards insanity and this wannabe super mom ain't so keen on going there.

Aaargh! Decisions..decisions. I really can't decide. I guess for now, I'll just settle for what I do best. Procrastinate and leave the decision making for tomorrow. :P

Supermom vs Kryptonite

If there is any time for me to start contemplating suicide, I'd say the time is now. I have three children generously contributing to my already messy house with their smelly puke and poo. Both Sarah and Mika had caught some sort of stomach bug which makes them purge and barf continuously. The small cough that baby Hana had has developed into a full scale one with loads of plegm and snot to accompany it. Since she can't spit out her phlegm and blow out her nose, she had chosen the barf out all the gross icky sticky stuff method.

I have done the laundry 3 times today, bath and changed all three children twice, cleaned up vomit from my floor and carpets, wash the powder room of poo and vomit, prepared lunch twice (since the kids puked out the first) and I did it all before noon! If that's not Super Mom, then I don't know what is! Oh, and I'm still in my smelly pajamas which is now covered in food, puke, spit & milk. I'd better lock the doors, I don't wanna risk scaring any visitors if any decided to pop by. (Dear God, please send any visitors away...I'm so not in the mood to entertain!)

The worst part of it all is that hubby is in Toronto and won't be back till Sunday! Hmph, the lucky bugger. Where is the equality? Waaaaaah! I want my mommy! I'd rather go slay some dragon or monster at this rate. They're much easier to handle than 3 sick children. I'm a wannabe super mom and I have found my kryptonite!

Walk beside me and be my friend.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."~ Albert Camus.

I've been wondering for awhile on the meaning of friendship and found this on Wikipedia.

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.

When we made the decision to move to Abu Dhabi, one of the things that was the hardest to leave behind was my wonderful, supportive and loyal girlfriends. We've built our friendship over the years and had gotten to know each other ever since we were only girls. We had gone through so much for so long and had shared most of our good times and bad times with each other. The only thing that had comforted me was the assurance that despite being hundreds of miles apart, our friendship will always remain strong and no matter what, nothing can and will change our friendship and love for each other.

Arriving in Abu Dhabi, I realized that I had to start over. I did not have the comfort of my girlfriends and family to fall back on and had to start from scratch. I discovered that meeting new people is easy but to build a strong bond with another proves harder. Here I did not have the advantage of time and personal experiences like I did back home.

But fate was kind to me and I did build close ties with a handful of people here. It's wonderful to have people you are able to connect, respect, trust, esteem and care for deeply and have those feelings reciprocated. These friends are my substitute for the friends and family that I had left behind.

But what is life without a few hiccups? The friendship that I had built with one of these people now leaves me in doubt. She is a wonderful person and while I enjoy her company, there are still some things that bothers me about her. She can be quite helpful, but her helpfulness seems insincere and leaves me feeling uneasy as if she expects her favours to always be returned. She is sometimes controlling, abrupt, patronizing and rude and at other times borders being mean. I've seen her making some inappropriate remarks to others and although I do respect her for being straight forward and frank, I do feel that her remarks to some is too much hitting below the belt and can't help but wonder why she couldn't be more subtle and gentler in her ways. She has also the tendency to become rather defensive and is one of the most pessimistic person that I had ever encountered. Friends are suppose to celebrate and embrace each others differences yet she on the other hand, treats everything as if it's a pissing match. Her competitiveness is simply irksome.

Yet I still feel the need to reach out and maintain what resembles a friendship with her. Perhaps it is because our children are friends or perhaps because there are just so few people here that I try to fight hard for whatever friendship I can get here. But sometimes enough is enough and this may be one friendship that is not worth fighting for. I've tried over and over again to give the benefit of the doubt but now it seems like a hopeless pursuit. I will cease being a good friend to her not because I don't desire it but because there is no sense of fighting when the effort only comes on my part alone. I care about her and because of that, I'm willing to let her go and just hope that she'll mend her ways and when she does and when she find herself in a position where she needs a friend, I'm always here with open arms to welcome a friend whom I can walk side by side with.

Typical Housewife

I've been reading some people's opinions about a typical housewife. Most implied that a typical housewife is a woman who fails to take care of her appearance, watches TV all day, doesn't have many friends, isn't able to hold a decent conversation other than topics regarding their kids and household chores. They've also expressed that housewives tend to be uneducated and lacks intelligence. As a housewife, I find their opinions rather offensive.
However, these people have also written that rather than be a typical housewife, its better to become a stay at home mom instead. What??? Duh. Some people are such idiots. Don't they get it? It's the same bloody thing! Well, that goes to show the power of rebranding.
Well, I must admit that as a stay at home mom, I sometimes do let myself go. Trying to look like a million bucks every single day is hard work. Lounging at home in a pair of old T-shirt and sweat pants is pure bliss and I'd recommend it to everyone. However, I doubt that my favourite uniform will cause anyone to scream and run away in fright by the sight of me. Well, at least my hubby doesn't complain. :P
Anyway, the one thing I would agree with those people that just because you're a housewife and you are stuck at home, it isn't an excuse for you to live in seclusion and not mingle with the outside world. I'm lucky that I have my friends and neighbours from various walks of life to fill me in on whats going out there and enrich my life. Although most of my conversation does revolve around kids and my daily chores, I do talk about other things as well such as religion, society, education and politics although I try to shy away from the latter as much as possible. Politics is just too dirty for this typical housewife's own liking.
Bottom line is, yes, I do tend to talk about my kids and chores a lot, but only because its a topic that I'm passionate about and only to people who enjoy listening about it. People who are in the workforce talk about their work all the time too but I don't hear anyone complaining. I am also interested about various subjects and am also able to talk about other things whenever I choose to. Like I said, my main interests are kids and the home life. I may not be dressed as if I'm going to the Oscars or have a red carpet function everyday, but I think I'm rather presentable enough (well, at least presentable enough to open the front door if someone comes knocking lol) although I may sometimes look a tad disarray. But can you blame me? I'm a mom with 3 kids and a husband who is constantly away plus, I've no domestic help to ease my burden. I do watch TV but I'm limited to watching Barney, Kipper, Hannah Montana and whatever kiddies show there is on TV. Not so much because it is entertaining to me, but because I'd like to be able to keep up with my kids. And although I don't have a gazillion friends, I have a handful of really good friends who truly understands me and and whom are all near and dear to me. So if you want to call me a typical housewife, then so be it. I may not be out there with the rest of the population trying to save the world or whatever, but I'm doing my share for the community by trying to educate and shape my children into responsible and caring individuals. That's a hard job of its own.

Just to share, a poem I keep close to my heart.

If I had my child to raise over again
I'd fingerpaint more and point the finger less
I'd do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off the watch, and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I'd build self esteem first and the house later
I'd teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love
~Diane Loomans

Picking Favourites

I've always known at the back of my mind that I am not my mother's favourite child. Maybe when I was younger, I had felt a bit disgruntled over it and became quite rebellious but overtime as I get older, I'm more accepting and understand that just because I'm not her favourite doesn't mean she loves me less.
My mother has always been more affectionate with my little sister. I've always wondered why. I've been told that I wasn't an easy baby nor was I an easy child. My mother was depressed due to some unfortunate circumstance while she was pregnant with me and I came out into the world underweight and angry which would naturally make my mother feel anxious and exhausted taking care of me.
As a middle child, it wasn't easy to compete for my mother's attention against an older brother who is the only boy, and a younger sister who is the baby of the house. However, I had never felt the need to compete for my father's attention because with him, I had always felt equal. I guess my father had that special natural ability to make everyone feel special and inspire to be able to be like him.
While I was in KL, I brought up this topic with my girlfriends. Most of them admitted that although they love their kids to death, they can't help but to show preference to one child over the other. That got me thinking. Do I have a favourite? I am after all only human.
I have three kids and honestly, I'm not sure if there is any particular one that I prefer over the others. I fell heads over heels in love with each one the moment I first laid eyes on them. All three are special and dear to me but in very different and distinctive way.
My eldest Sarah will be 6 years old in less then a month. I have such high hopes for her and am delighted with every little achievement and progress that she has made. Everything about her just fills me with pride and joy. My second is Mika. So far he is the only boy. He is such a cheeky little fellow and never fails to entertain me and lifts me up with his little antics and adorable charm. The youngest is darling little Hana and although she is still a little to young for me to judge, my darling little baby is very easy to care and she delights me with her tenderness. She just takes my breath away with her little smile and coos.
All three of them are very special and dear to me. It amazes me how I feel so much love for them yet my love for each one is absolutely unique.
I can't wait to see them all grown up and become wonderful individuals. Although I adore children, I think the dinamic of my three kids are already perfect. Sarah will always be my favourite because she is my firstborn. Mika will always be my favourite because he is the only boy and hana will always be my favourite because she is the baby. I just hope that they'll grow up knowing just that.

Hana's First Milestone

Hana is 4 months old and has reached her first milestone. She can now roll over on her own. She's done it 4 times so far and I had missed it all. It seems like she'll only roll over whenever I'm not around. After the second roll, I kept my eyes on her for a whole hour but nothing. She only kept rolling from side to side. Then I had to take Mika to the loo and when I came back, there she was on her tummy again. Hmph. I've equip myself with my trusty camera just waiting and waiting to take that photo of her rolling over but little baby seems shy to show this mommy her newfound skill. The waiting is getting a bit ridiculous and at this rate, I've almost given up. I can't just sit here and stare at her the whole day waiting to see her roll over. I've got two other kids to attend to so I'll just settle for a picture of her on her Bumbo seat instead. :)