Saturday, December 31, 2005
1. To be a better mommy to both my children.
2. To be a better wife???
3. To lose all this wretched weight that I've gain
4. To go back to work
5. To learn how to make MIL's curry the way hubby likes it.
Err...that's it? That's all that I could think of..? Talk about sad...*sigh*
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 TO ALL! MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS AND HOPES COME TRUE THIS YEAR!
Friday, December 30, 2005
My little girl has been making herself puke this past week. She has also lost her once voracious appetite. The sight of food makes her gag, and I've had to carry an empty plastic bag everywhere I go in case she decides to puke.
I must admit that this 'habit' of hers was annoying me...and everytime she starts gagging...here I am running to her with a plastic bag in my hand to catch her puke. When the plastic bag is right under her nose...it does take her awhile before she does actually puke. Her puking makes me angry and worried at the same time and the fact that she is hardly eating is making me feel more exasperated.
So today, hubby and I decided to take her to see her paed. After checking her thoroughly, the doctor told us with the exception of her rumbling tummy...she seems to be alright. She's as active as ever and was even responding to instructions given to her by her doctor. She looked like she was actually relishing with all the attention given to her.
The doc told us that there was 2 possibility to her condition...number 1, it could be something organic present in her intestines..but considering that she only makes herself puke about once or twice a day...it is a bit odd. Number 2, it's something psychological. Little girl is perhaps anxious about something that is changing in her life or in the household. Oh oh.
That made me recall...off late, darling girl's behavior had change a little. She is more impatient and volatile about petty things. Everyone kept assuring me that it is normal that when a child is expecting another sibling to act up a little. The thing is...I have been rather impatient with her and perhaps a little neglectful? I scold her and never give face anymore. I'm preparing her to become a big sister thus treating her like an older child. In other words, I'm forcing her to grow up.
The doc gave us some medicine to administer to her for the next 5 days and told us to monitor her bowel movements and puking. This medicine is suppose to flush out any wierd things in her intestines. But after 5 days...if the puking doesn't stop...perhaps he will order to do an ultrasound of her tummy. This is to treat any present organic involvements.
If it is psychological...the doc told us to not make feeding time and her pukings a big deal. I she doesn't want to eat..so be it. Do not make it an issue. He also told me not to get worked up if she pukes...be nonchalant about it. Find ways to assure her to not feel threaten by the new baby.
I do feel rather guilty for being so short with her. It makes me feel horrible to think that I could be the cause to her problems. Have I really been neglectful and short tempered with my precious girl? If so...why didn't I see the warning signs? My baby girl's sudden severe attachment to her daddy. She wants daddy to do everything for her instead of mommy. Suddenly addressing herself as baby. I should have known better. I love my girl with all my heart. Nothing in the world could ever take away her place in my heart. If she thinks I changed...it's probably the hormones...How I wish I could make her understand all these sentiments of mine.
I really, absolutely feel terrible to thik that I could be the cause of her problems. To know that my daughter is in distress is awful enough...but to not be ble to do anything to elevate her fears and problems is worse.
I think the timing couldn't be any better. I'm making it a priority in my new year's resolution...I vow to become a better mom to Sarah and to be more aware of her wants and needs and I vow to do all this starting from right now.
I hope Sarah will be better soon. To Sarah...mommy loves you darling...you are the most important thing in my life.
My darling baby girl
Is all mommy can say
You’ve came into my life
And have brighten up my days
Your sweet innocent smile
Can put me at ease
You are my precious child
My one special, special gift
Suckling at my breast
As I watch you sleep
Compared to everything else
My love for you makes me weak
I truly adore you
My sweet little girl
You take a way the blues
And light up my world
My sweet little child
Mommy promises you
You have my love, hopes and devotions
For today, tomorrow and forever too.
Mommy loves you Sarah.
Whoa...it's been awhile since I last blogged. Been too preoccupied with shopping and stuff. Well, it is the year end sale after all and like everybody else, I'm just taking the opportunity to shop till I drop. Spending money has never been more fun than at this time around. God Bless Malaysia's Carnival Sale...may there be many more to come. Haha!
Hubby hasn't been too work for quite awhile now. He was on a 5 days standby and due to the company losing money big time...they dare not call him for flights because he has already busted his hours and if he does need to operate, the company has to pay him double of his usual rate. I guess the company rather spend their precious money on more beneficial stuff like investing it's million into 3 ugly paintings of lobsters and violin. Go figure.
Anyway, this is the longest so far that I've been spending time with Hubby and my little girl is getting more and more attached to him each day. She guards him 24/7 and makes sure to never let him stray from her sight. She even follows him to the loo to stand guard and make sure he doesn't slip away. Hehehe...heck, I'm not complaining. It's been awhile since I had so much free time in my hand..so I'm savouring every single free moments.
Hubby's roster just came in. He's got 2 London flights and a flight to Istanbul next year 9month of January that is). Thinking of following him considering that this would probably be the last in a long while that I'd be able to go on trips or anywhere for that matter. After the delivery of the new baby, I'd definitely be 'grounded' for at least a year. The thought of flying with 1 screaming baby and another screaming toddler isn't exactly my idea of a good flight. Hubby kept reassuring me that it'll be okay...it would be no problem to take two kids after my delivery to follow him on his flights. Told him that unless I could send one child into the cockpit for the pilots to babysit...no way is that gonna happen. I refuse to take charge of 2 screaming children in a claustrophobic area 37 000 feet above ground while my darling hubby hides away in the cockpit using 'work' as an excuse.
Anyway, hubby's scheduled to go to London on the 4th. Hubby suggested that I ought to follow him, but the dry cold weather in London is making me have second thoughts. So I figured, I'll go to Istanbul on the 13th instead. Called my aunt to book the tickets and although at that time I'm just 2 weeks away before I'm legally declared unfit to fly...my auntie sort of persuaded me to not go. She says as a ticketing officer, its her duty to advice me to not go because judging from my size...anyone who doesn't know any better would think I'm ready to pop anytime. Yup..I'm that huge. So she fears, I won't be let into the country by the Turkish authorities and be deported home like an illegal. Not a very appealing thought. So it's final...I'm stuck at home till this baby pops. Boo hoo. So back to online shopping for me. Checking out stuff at Mothercare for hubby to buy on his trip to London. Whoopee..my life's a ball *rolling eyes*
I need a vacation desperately. Maybe I could opt for Port Dickson instead...*sigh*
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Aaaargh! Emergency! Dial 911 or 999 or whatever the emergency number in this country is! Our ASTRO is out!!!
Talk about bad luck. The ASTRO had to go out precisely when hubby is out of town. Way out. Like Europe. All this while we've autodebit from hubby's credit card...but 4 month ago, after a pep talk from an ancient captain of his...he decided to get rid of one credit card so he can put more into his savings.
Anyway, what dear hubby forgot was that he has been using this particular credit card to settle his Astro bill....and it seems that its been 4 month since we paid! Super 'efficient' ASTRO on the other hand has somehow 'forgotten' to send our bill...so since I can't find the older bills...I've no idea what our account number is so Maybank2U is out of the question...grrr...been SMSing murder to hubby and the smartman has been ignoring me. So he has been paying attention after all...I'll give him credit for that.
Anyway, my darling girl has been demanding for her 'Jojo' as in Playhouse Disney. I've put on her entire collection of Barney to distract her...but my girl's no fool. She starting to become suspicious and horror of all horrors...She's actually getting bored of Barney! The little girl has resorted to entertain herself by running around the house naked. She may look cute and all, but the thing is...SHE'S NOT POTTY TRAINED!!!!
She's already had 2 accidents and still refuses to put on her diaper. She keeps going "Nanak deper, nanak deper!" Heck...if I knew that when I grow up I'll end up becoming somebody's cleaner...a little somebody for that matter...I wouldn't have wasted all my time studying so hard. Right now, I can't wait to grow old and throw tantrums at my lil girl by refusing to put on my diapers. Let her taste a dose of her own medicine...sigh...
Monday, December 19, 2005
It's been a really hectic weekend for me. I'm absolutely exhausted. My cousin Juliana got married on Friday and had her wedding reception the next day in Malacca. I'm happy to report that everything went well...it was truly a nice wedding although I must remember to tell the groom or should I say my new cousin-in-law that he should wipe off that permanent glare on his face, because it truly makes him look intimidating. Unless he is striving for that look than by all means, Azlan, just go ahead and scowl...such a sad thing to do to quite a handsome face but it's his face after all so do whateverlah. Hehehe.
During the weekend, I not only manage to be there for my cousin's wedding...I was also able to attend another wedding in Muar. It was a wedding of a friend of hubby's from work and that too was another lovely wedding. However, I'm quite astounded to hear a ghazal group strumming to Hip Hop and Western songs...hehehe, I guess you discover new things everyday!
So all in all, I had attended 2 weddings and one divorce..or almost. I'm sad to say that my grandpa has decided to proceed in divorcing his wife of 6 years on the very day my cousin is tying the knot. This incident has confirmed my suspicion that our country is being plagued by the wedding and divorce bug. It's terrifying to hear so many divorces happening in such a short span of time.
I feel like a traitor for feeling this way...but in this case, I can't help feeling sorry for dear old step grandma. She's relatively young...she's just turned 50 and I guess it hasn't been easy for her either. My Grandpa says he isn't happy and he was only happy for the first 2 years of his marriage. After he got his stroke 4 years ago..his marriage has been hell or so he says.
My mom and a few of my aunties are all into tearing apart step grandma. It seems that she's been taking all of my grandpa's money and now his bank account is down to RM100. This is where I feel like a traitor. I don't blame her. My grandpa hasn't fully recovered after his stroke. He can walk and all although his movements are slow, his speech slurry and he isn't as mobile as before.
This lady of 50 is now stuck with a sickly 70 year old. Not only that, this man is living in her house and isn't paying a cent for rent. He gives step grandma RM300 for foodstuff and RM200 for her pocket money. No wonder she has had to resort to swindling the poor old man. RM500 isn't enough to cover the rent, the utility bills and what nots. And considering his age and hers for that matter...I guess she was building a nest egg to prepare for her later years.
My mom's argument is that this is proof that step grandma never truly married grandpa for love...well, duh...immediately after marrying her grandpa sold acres of his orchard land for god knows what. Wasn't that obvious enough? To me, this incident is inevitable.
Well, regardless of what I may think...I also feel that grandpa deserves to live happily at his late age. So if his happiness means divorcing step grandma...so be it. However, there is no reason to point fingers at others...I believe that we have no one other to blame but ourself and there is no use to cry over spilt milk. Let bygones be bygones. Erra and Yusry's seperations is contagious after all huh? Hope it doesn't hit me...touch wood. I must remember to be grateful to have married a wonderful man who is strongly against divorces...his or anyone else's. Otherwise...urgh...it's scary to even think about it.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Got this from one of the many favourite blogs that I like to visit...never thought I was the happy sort...restless perhaps, but happy? I guess all this while I have been happy after all without even realizing it...happiness is ignorance, ignorance is bliss...Hahaha!
|Your Inner Child Is Happy|
You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Attended one of my girlfriend's birthday party last weekend. It was a rare occasion for me because for once, darling hubby wasn't jetsetting across the globe and could actually attend a function with me. I was kind of excited...it was getting to be quite a drag going out to any sort of parties and gathering just me and Sarah. Don't get me wrong...I love going out with my precious girl...but at the age of two...I must say that she isn't much of the conversationalist. Haha!
Anyway, we got there early, so I was just hanging out outside with a couple of friends, hubby and those friends' significant other. The host then suggested us ladies to come inside and let the children play...it is a child's birthday party after all.
I nearly pissed my pants upon entering because lo and behold...who do I bump into at the doorway? An old, old flame...Luckily hubby was outside because if he had seen my expression...he'd be able to put two and two together and figure things out. At least I had the chance the compose myself and pretend that I didn't recognize him.
Hmph...just my luck. Of all time the time to bump into an old flame...it had to be the time when I'm pregnant and definitely NOT looking my best. I looked like a dugong...and he's probably thinking "Jeez...am I glad I got out of that one.."
Worst of all, after all these years...the guy hasn't changed a bit. The only noticeable change is perhaps that he has a little son running after him...and a pretty wife sitting next to him.
It was quite an effort for me to stay aloof and pretend that I didn't notice him...then I saw hubby emerging from the doorway and give me one of his big silly smile. I was suddenly obliviously to all the people in the the party and only saw that great guy I married. Everything made sense again.
It didn't matter that I looked like a dugong's decendent anymore...all I know is that I love this crazy, beautiful, wonderful guy I married and he has given me the most wonderful pleasure in the whole world...my beautiful daughter Sarah.
All in all, we had a great time at the party...Sarah had a blast of a time, hubby enjoyed himself tremendously to have been able to catch up with old friends and me, I'm ecstatic to see my family so happy. As for the old flame...err... what old flame? Forgotten for good....
It has been an absolutely, wonderful 2 days. Hubby's gone off to LHR so decided to pack my stuff and take both Sarah and my ass to mommy's loft. My mommy that is. Staying at my mom's for the past 2 days has really reminded me how I miss staying under her roof.
For the past 2 days...my wonderfully exceptional mother has been doing everything for me...All I did was loaf in front of the TV catching up on all the great movies and shows that I've been missing. My mom cooks, feed, bath and entertains Sarah. The most that I've done for my little girl is prepare her milk and put her to sleep. Life has been bliss. If this is the way thing goes...I don't mind giving birth to 10 babies...hehehe...
Since I'm practically the only one of my mother's children who is actually providing her grandchildren...I'll let her spoil me. I feel that I truly deserve it. Haha!
I'm a terrible daughter...it's such a pity to watch my poor mommy slave away from me...as if she hasn't enough to do. Mother's are truly the best gift that a person could have. I feel so privilige to have a great mother such as mine. I'm just dreading what my dear daughter has install for me in the future. They say a mother-daughter relationship is a vicious cycle...what goes around comes around. So I guess it's okay for me to lepak for awhile now before it is my turn to slave away for dear Sarah later.
I love my mom to bits...to me, the phrase 'greatest mom' is truly an understatement to describe her and all her capabilities. My mom's truly the best I could ever have...
Sunday, December 11, 2005
It's 1.55 am...I've just finished cleaning up the house and right now I'm as hungry as ever. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. Probably I ought to fix something up for myself...but looking at my shiny, sparkling, newly cleaned kitchen...it seems a shame to mess it up again. Hmm...probably I'd do my damsel in distress act...and trick dearest hubby into thinking that I am in agony and am practically dying from starvation. Hmm, I think I 'd probably be able to pull it off.Guess I gotta brush up on my acting skills.
When I was pregnant with Sarah, I've never experienced hunger pangs or even cravings, especially not in the middle of the night. This pregnancy however, I just can't stop feeling hungry...no matter how hard I try to psyche myself that it's just out of boredom...I just can't quit imagining the variety of things I'd like to consume.No wonder with each passing days of this pregnancy..I'm beginning to more and more resemble like a beached walrus...jeez, how flattering.
I'm obscenely huge...My tummy is the size of a whole continent and don't even let me start on my butt. And the worst part is...I'm only one week short of going into my seventh month. At this rate...by the time of my delivery..I'd probably need a crane to maneuver me out of the house and to the hospital. I had better lose weight after giving birth...otherwise, I might as well jump a ledge.
I love being pregnant despite all the discomforts...but I hate being fat. Hmm...maybe if I'm super sweet, I could get hubby to buy me Nasi Goreng USA..Mm..yummy! There I go again...I'm definitely heading to fatsville... Dear God, help me stop thinking of food and while you're at it...make me stop dreaming of Siti Nurhaliza as well...I'm getting quite sick and tired of her. Hehehe...
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Hubby and I have been house hunting these past few days. We've decided that since our family will be growing, perhaps our house ought to expend alongside our family. Told hubby that if we were going to get a house, lets find a place that we could permanently settle down...for good. In other words...find our perfect dream home.
Hubby has set his targets on finding a nice corner lot terrace, semi-d or bungalow. But the price for these kind of houses are astronomical. We looked almost everywhere, and there is a particular Semi-D in Puchong that I really do adore...but I don't know if I'm really ready to move back to Puchong. I still haven't had enough embracing my life here within civilization, dunno if I can make the transformation yet again to move back to what some people would call 'alien land'. Besides, forking out over half a million ringgit is no small matter not to mention almost ridiculous.
We also found a malay reserve land on top of a hill with a view that is truly breathtaking. It's situated on the fringes of Putrajaya and overlooks the entire area. The price is also a steal. It's a 5400sf land that only cost about RM26 psf. It's a great place to stay I guess...but the lack of fascilities like schools, shops and other neccessities are a few things to put into consideration.
Aaargh...such a headache to decide. Hmm, perhaps we could just continue living in our 1200sf condo, packed like a can of sardines and use the money to take the whole family to Disneyland instead. Well, that's an idea...
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Seems like the year 2006 will be starting off with an abundance of people giving birth to baby boys. Almost everyone I know who is pregnant so far seems to be carrying baby boys in their tummy.
Some people, like moi, am truly happy with the news. Probably because I already have a girl and with the birth of a boy, I can now decide if I want to continue to procreate or actually cease production. If I was carrying a girl, the option wouldn't be mine because in the back of my mind, I would always feel guilty for not giving or try to give hubby a little boy of his own.
However, at the same time, I do know some mommies-to-be whom are rather disappointed about the news of their impending little boy. But perhaps its their hormones...I'm sure after getting used to the idea , they'd be as exited as ever and carry on with the exciting tasks of shopping for the new baby.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was shock at first because Sarah had just stopped bf completely for about a month. I thought that I could finally try to get rid of that extra 5kg that doesn't seem to wanna shed from my body so I could look like my former self once again. Just as I thought I was beginning to lose weigh...came the big blow. I'm pregnant again!
SIL snickered at the news of my pregnancy and as she had recently shed 14kg, was flaunting the fact that now she'd be the skinny one. Aaargh! I felt like wringing her neck but I could do nothing but laugh it off.
Now 6 month into my pregnancy, she has just found out that she's pregnant with her fourth! Haha! It's now time for me to laugh. Her morning sickness is quite bad but I can't help in turn to gloat with pleasure...The lesson here is, 'JANGAN BERLAGAK!'
She's mentally breaking down cause she is petrified that it'll be a boy...and she has already got 2 boys who I must admit are quite the little monstrosity. They are definitely beyond control and considering that I do feel a tiny bit sorry for her. Everytimes she sees me now, she keeps saying that I'm contagious and so bad of me for spreading my pregnancy bug onto her...sigh... as if I have human sperm pollens that fly about and fertilize women's eggs...get real!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Recieved a funny mail from an e-mail buddy Krish tonight. Hmmm, perhaps men have finally figured us out. Ok, probably we are a bunch whom enjoys complicating matters, but all you men folk ought to admit, that's part of our charm that you guys find absolutely irresistable. It's just the chivalrious nature embedded in a man's subconsciousness to want to save us 'confused' bunch. After all, what could be more intriguing to all you men folk than a woman in 'distress.' You guys just wanna help us out right??? Hah! Suckers!!! Didn't you learn anything from Adam's mistake in the garden of Eden??? Anyway here are the terminologies that you men ought to remember in order to avoid any future arguments and for all the women, something for you to chuckle about...
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. 5 minutes is only 5 minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
This is calm before the storm. This means 'something' and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'NOTHING' usually ends in 'FINE'.
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over 'NOTHING.'
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. 'THAT"S OK' means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
It's a woman's way of saying *%#@ YOU!!!
I've just finished reading 'The Sky Is Crazy-Tales From A Trolley Dolly' by Yvonne Lee last night. It left me reminiscing about my flying days long ago. Most of what has been written by Mrs. Yvonne Lee were mostly stories passed down from one generation of cabin crew to the other via CCN which is an abbreviation for Cabin Crew Network or in other words,she heard through the cabin crew grapevines. Not to discredit her mind you, I applause her for her initiative anyway. Wished I'd thought of it first.
During my flying days, I too have heard some of the stories that she had shared in her book...now I'm beginning to feel quite sceptical about the stories. Did I mention, one of the work hazards of being a crew is that after being on air for a long period of time...you tend to become a little 'off' and there is a tendency to exaggerate.
Like the infamous story about a particular local artist whom when asked by the cabin crew on how she'd like her tea, she had answered "In a cup, please." I'm still kind of sceptical with that particular tale because I had actually encountered such a scenario.
I was working in the upper deck business class on a flight from Heathrow to Kuala Lumpur. During the tea/coffee service, I was serving this large English man while I was on autopilot mode and asked him how he'd like his tea? His reply was "in a cup preferable while I'm sitting down please"...That woke me up but as I saw him crack a grin, I finally realized that this man was making a joke. Probably those dry english sense of humor that I never quite understood. I've related this experience to a few other crew members that I had flown with throughout the years...so when the 'tea in a cup' story emerged...I was quite sceptical about the gossip.
I remembered operating a flight to Frankfurt, after the meal service, my supervising crew and the galley steward had retired for their compulsory 2 hours rest period. I was left alone to man the cabin till it was my turn for rest. The cabin which was under my care was Zone E, the most remote cabin located at the rear end of the aircraft not to mention the largest as well.
There was this sweet German man who kept coming to the galley to place his drink order. He said he didn't want to trouble me by making me walk back and forth. He kept ordering vodka lime with an olive (which is kinda wierd because the appropriate garnish ought to be a twist of lemon)over and over again.
After his umpteenth glass, I heard loud gasps coming from the cabin and when I opened the galley curtain to check it out, this man popped in front of me, out of nowhere clad only in his bright green undies! I didn't know where to put my eyes. This man asked me to make him another glass of vodka, but by that time I had figured out (regretfully a tad late) that this man was absolutely drunk . When I told him that he has had enough...he actually threatened to take off his undies! That was a sight I wasn't willing to see so I told him to take a seat while I prepared his drink.
I was at my ends wit and seeked the help of the galley steward in the next cabin. The steward asked me for the man's seat number and told me that he'll take care of the problem. Phew, what a relief.
Peeking out of my galley, I saw the steward handing Mr. Underwear another glass of drink. I thought to myself "Is this guy nuts???"
The man had a few gulps and suddenly passed out. He didn't regain his conciousness till after anding and was still very dizzy during disembarkation. He actually attempted to disembark clad only in his undies. My supervisor had to stop him and help the man dress himself.
During our stay in Frankfurt, the steward told me that he actually put a drop of eye mo in this man's drink and according to him, when eye mo is mixed with alcohol, the person who consumes it will definitely pass out. Although thankful, I made a point to stay away from this particular steward because I thought if he was capable of spiking people...heaven only knows what else he is capable of doing.
I could go on and on with my tales from the air...but I'll just save my stories for next time.