My little girl has been making herself puke this past week. She has also lost her once voracious appetite. The sight of food makes her gag, and I've had to carry an empty plastic bag everywhere I go in case she decides to puke.
I must admit that this 'habit' of hers was annoying me...and everytime she starts gagging...here I am running to her with a plastic bag in my hand to catch her puke. When the plastic bag is right under her nose...it does take her awhile before she does actually puke. Her puking makes me angry and worried at the same time and the fact that she is hardly eating is making me feel more exasperated.
So today, hubby and I decided to take her to see her paed. After checking her thoroughly, the doctor told us with the exception of her rumbling tummy...she seems to be alright. She's as active as ever and was even responding to instructions given to her by her doctor. She looked like she was actually relishing with all the attention given to her.
The doc told us that there was 2 possibility to her condition...number 1, it could be something organic present in her intestines..but considering that she only makes herself puke about once or twice a day...it is a bit odd. Number 2, it's something psychological. Little girl is perhaps anxious about something that is changing in her life or in the household. Oh oh.
That made me recall...off late, darling girl's behavior had change a little. She is more impatient and volatile about petty things. Everyone kept assuring me that it is normal that when a child is expecting another sibling to act up a little. The thing is...I have been rather impatient with her and perhaps a little neglectful? I scold her and never give face anymore. I'm preparing her to become a big sister thus treating her like an older child. In other words, I'm forcing her to grow up.
The doc gave us some medicine to administer to her for the next 5 days and told us to monitor her bowel movements and puking. This medicine is suppose to flush out any wierd things in her intestines. But after 5 days...if the puking doesn't stop...perhaps he will order to do an ultrasound of her tummy. This is to treat any present organic involvements.
If it is psychological...the doc told us to not make feeding time and her pukings a big deal. I she doesn't want to eat..so be it. Do not make it an issue. He also told me not to get worked up if she pukes...be nonchalant about it. Find ways to assure her to not feel threaten by the new baby.
I do feel rather guilty for being so short with her. It makes me feel horrible to think that I could be the cause to her problems. Have I really been neglectful and short tempered with my precious girl? If so...why didn't I see the warning signs? My baby girl's sudden severe attachment to her daddy. She wants daddy to do everything for her instead of mommy. Suddenly addressing herself as baby. I should have known better. I love my girl with all my heart. Nothing in the world could ever take away her place in my heart. If she thinks I changed...it's probably the hormones...How I wish I could make her understand all these sentiments of mine.
I really, absolutely feel terrible to thik that I could be the cause of her problems. To know that my daughter is in distress is awful enough...but to not be ble to do anything to elevate her fears and problems is worse.
I think the timing couldn't be any better. I'm making it a priority in my new year's resolution...I vow to become a better mom to Sarah and to be more aware of her wants and needs and I vow to do all this starting from right now.
I hope Sarah will be better soon. To Sarah...mommy loves you darling...you are the most important thing in my life.
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MOMMY’S PROMISE
My darling baby girl
Is all mommy can say
You’ve came into my life
And have brighten up my days
Your sweet innocent smile
Can put me at ease
You are my precious child
My one special, special gift
Suckling at my breast
As I watch you sleep
Compared to everything else
My love for you makes me weak
I truly adore you
My sweet little girl
You take a way the blues
And light up my world
My sweet little child
Mommy promises you
You have my love, hopes and devotions
For today, tomorrow and forever too.
Mommy loves you Sarah.
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